Abstract Thoughts on the Potential for a Cordial and Peaceful Secession of Trumplandia from the Former United States of America (FUSA)
It is official. Thank you for your time with us Trumplandia. You are free to go become your own nation and make Trump your Plutarch. I (like many Americans) have finally reached the grief stage of acceptance. Those of you on the fence deciding whether you are Trumplandians or Americans, you are officially offered the freedom to choose this one last time. So go for it.
Secede and go form a country. Create your own union of states. Heck, just for the hell of it, you could even name yourselves the Confederate States again and head off to live your lives; (provided your Plutarch does not insist his name be used). Those of us who chose to stay in America wish you well and hope you go on to live happy and healthy lives. Please join together and adapt the F.U.S. Constitution to serve your needs and wants and have at it. I think Americans are finally willing to set all of you free. We can send some diplomats over if you want to negotiate with the different demographics and decide who gets to stay and who doesn’t. We doubt that is what you would hope for however, so that’s fine too. We have heard you so go for it. Drill and frack and continue to mine coal. While you do that, we will let you know how our efforts go and whether we succeed with solar or wind power and let you know about any other innovations that may occur.
You may need to look at how you want to handle the funding of Trumplandia. While I am sure that Montanans Texans and Ohioans will come to an understanding on priorities that will align beautifully with those of Alabama, Mississippi and Florida, you will need to figure out the group’s precedence regarding the ways to trade commerce. You will still have plenty of Gulf and Atlantic ports at your disposal to help trade with the rest of the world; or if you prefer to go more isolationist and only trade within, that is fine with us too. Have no fear. America will stay out of your way and hope the best for you. Americans may even still come help you when natural disasters continue to constantly and mercilessly hit Trumplandia and you need help. If you don’t want Americans to do so because of their race, creed or other demographic traits; no worries. I am sure several International organizations will come to assist (if you want their help; If you don’t; that is fine also).
Ladies, you will do fine. If you are looking to re-capture the family unit with you as the matron and him as the breadwinner on the farm or the factory or as a Trumplandia soldier, I am sure that will be the men’s preference as well; so more power to you. I hope you succeed in the lives you are hoping for with your children and that you all are happy. It may be a bit rocky for those of you who are not the most popular demographics, (a tad dark or foreign looking), or do not accept Christ as your personal savior and literally interpret the Bible in whichever way Trumplandia’s citizens decide is correct. For those of you that impacts, I am unsure, but I believe that America will still look at offering amnesty for those being persecuted and killed in the name of Trumplandia if it comes to that. Because you renounced your F.U.S. citizenship when you became Trumplandians you and your spouse/children will need to apply to become legal permanent residents of the F.U.S. and be issued green cards. It’s a rather competitive process, so good luck to you too.
Some areas are not my specialty, so I am not sure how to start or transition a new nation’s education or commerce, but you have many in your territory who can help you figure it out. I am sure they will stay to aid in the birth of your new country. It may be expensive, so you may find it necessary to pay hefty taxes for power, food, fuel, communications, water, etc. especially where you are landlocked by the F.U.S. and will pay huge importation fees for many daily needs. Satellites are likely to be rentable for Trumplandians and if Trumplandia leaders figures out a way to get a group rate, then you will still be able to use media (if that is what the most of you choose to do). You can also cut off any and all media from outside Trumplandia that you do not want as a nation if that is your choice.
While funding basic institutions or services like hospitals, firemen, police, etc. will need serious amounts of money, (which usually requires taxation); that is not insurmountable. There will be plenty of doctors, lawyers, teachers, transportation experts, farmers, manufacturers and others who will surely join you and help you build the country you want. Colleges and Universities who fall under your territory who choose to remain will also help you grow and develop the necessary medical, financial and creative areas that will allow you to form your new culture and when the world figures out a COVID vaccine and annual shots, for all who need them. I am sure your Plutarch and his delegated subordinates will make sure that you and your family, community receive them at an achievable cost.
Hopefully you find you each have the life, liberty and are still able to pursue and reach true happiness. If in a couple of years you should realize that the Plutarch has taken your assets and given you nothing in return; good luck with that. You can try to remove him if your territory leadership (former F.U.S. Senators & Representatives, Mayors, Governors, Chiefs of Police, etc.) are willing to take action on your behalf (and did not just take their share of the Plutarch’s plundering of your property, assets, land, wealth, etc.
Please do know that if you do find that America becomes more affluent, safe, educated, and healthy and becomes a place you want to invade to plunder in the future, we will still have the F.U.S. military and will have even more advanced weapons that we will not hesitate to use to defend ourselves. The Plutarch most likely sold all of yours to Russia, Syria or North Korea, but since they are not the latest technology, it is not a big deal. The Space Force and the primary assets of NASA will probably be bought out and moved from Trumplandia by SpaceX to F.U.S. but you can still work together with the Plutarch et al. to figure out ways to continue to fund the Space Centers in Houston, Cape Canaveral, Huntsville and Mississippi. I am sure you will still have many scientists who want to stay in Trumplandia and continue as a competitive space exploration institution. I must admit that it is unlikely you will be able to keep up with Elon Musk, China or Russia and SpaceX is likely to remain in California F.U.S.; so it will be extremely expensive trying to fund a space program from Trumplandia’s remaining overall wealth.
The risk of flooding is increasing every year and large portions of Trumplandia are rapidly becoming either barren uninhabitable desert or being completely submerged underwater is highly likely; but don’t worry. When that happens, I am certain that the northern parts of Trumplandia will be extremely selfless and will generously share their wealth with the less fortunate among Trumplandia’s poorer citizens.
Anyway, we are sorry to lose you, but you have spoken en masse, so happy country making. Please stay in touch with your American family members and we hope you will still be able to fund telecommunication systems with the funds your states have and that you will help one another. From what we have seen, you all get along beautifully with a perceived common enemy; so let’s see how it goes when you don’t have to put up with any of the liberal pinko wimpy communists and socialists you despise so much and you can rely directly on one another following your chosen Plutarch leader. God speed!
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